Misadventures in Movie Going

So as some of you may know, today was the premier of Shrek the Third. So naturally, seven o'clock found me waiting in an absurdly long line to pay an absurd amount of money to see a cartoon. And I could blame it on the kids, say that they nagged me and nagged me until I finally agreed to take them, but, truthfully, I have actually been waiting for this day myself. But the movie premier was one crappy experience after another.
I'm not saying that the movie was bad. Because, in fact, I didn't see the movie. I paid to see it, but that was about it. I made sure to get there a half hour early, because I knew it would be a zoo. So the first line up was the parking lot. You had to wait in line outside to take a ticket stub. So that took about fifteen minutes of standing outside in the cold with a two year old on my hip who was rather insistent that she wanted popcorn, which she knew was not forthcoming. Finally, we got our stupid ticket stub and proceeded inside. But then it was chaos. My kids took off and I was left standing in a ridiculous line up. It took about fifteen minutes to get to the front of the queue, and when I got to the front I was informed that the 7 & 7:15 were completely sold out. But there was some space in the 6:45, which had just started. So I said whatever, I'll just go to the 6:45. But then came the third line up. There was a huge lineup to get your ticket ripped. So I waited there for about five minutes. Finally we got into the theater. The only seats left were right smack dab front and center. And by front I mean front. We were in the very front row, our necks craned at an impossible angle to see the screen. So I said I would go get popcorn, because my two year old was still rather insisted that we needed it. I waited in line for about twenty minutes and had moved about a milimiter. The line in front of me was probably about fifteen feet. So I said screw it, I'll come back later. So I went back to the theater. Payton was insistent that she needed to go potty, so we went potty, which took a good fifteen minutes because she must wash her hands very thoroughly with the taps and the soap and the dryers, etc. So then we went back to the popcorn line. Waited about half an hour. Went back to the movie. Caught the last twenty minutes or so. The highlight was when Payton spilled ice cold pop all over my leg and crotch. As soon as the credits rolled we bolted from the place, my sweater tied around my waist like some 80's tennis club wannabe. And then, as if it couldn't get any better- a parking ticket on my windshield. Apparently, you have to have your stub prominently displayed on your windshield at all times. So I've spent $40 already. Owe $35 for the parking ticket. Saw about twenty minutes of movie. According to my calculations that's about three dollars and seventy five cents a minute. Next time there's a movie I want to see, I think I'll wait until it comes out on DVD.
That is about all I wanted to report. The only other thing is that last night I went to Superstore to get dog kibble, and there were two noteworthy occurences. The first is that they got new bags, which are really nice kind of purply with green and really sharp for spring. Too bad that they're going to pollute our landfills and take years to biodegrade and will, ultimately, likely ending up killing us all, but that didn't stop me from getting a few. The other thing was that the guy in front of me was wearing a shirt that said "SMELL MY BAG". I mean what is the world coming to when THAT is fashion??? I mean, I just couldn't believe it. Can you?? I had a good mind to report him to the store manager and have him removed for public indecency, but I guess these days anything goes. First it was pajama bottoms and now its this. Gone are the good old days of Chip and Hammer or whatever those shirts were called.
Well, that is it for now. Have a happy long weekend!!