Good bye my Friend

It's just.
A dog.
Its just a dogitsjustadogitsjustadogitsjustadog.........
Perhaps if I keep repeating that mantra over and over to myself I will believe it. I'm really not looking forward to tomorrow. I will surrender my dog. Mans best friend. I love that little dog, even though I realize that he's a bit of a slow learner. But lots of people are slow learners, and we don't just get rid of them, do we? He's a slow learner so lets just move him out to a farm where he can run around all day and chase geese? No. It would be inhumane. And yet, that's what my husband is making me do with my little Baxter. So I'm not happy on that front.
Secondly, on the daycare scene, things are not going well, either. My husband and I had two interviews yesterday, both of them did not go well. The first one seemed totally disinterested in Payton. Didn't talk to her or say hello. Just totally ignored her. And when we asked why she wanted to do daycare she said so she could spend more time with her two year old daughter. And I didn't really think that was a good answer. It's all about your own kid? Most people will cite a love of children in general. So that was out. The second woman was much more enthusiastic and you could see that she did love children, she was playing with Payton and Payton seemed to take to her. The only thing was that it seemed like a poverty situation. Dirty carpets, old concrete basement, a front door that was hanging on by the thinnest thread, no AC- 200 degrees in the house. And to make it worse, halfway through the interview her friends starting showing up. She was going out to the bar so they were getting ready. I was like 'well, we'll call you..." NOT. And her literacy level was a bit scary. I mean the 'contract' that she showed us was written on a piece of scrap paper and letters and words had been scratched out. I was like 'if you're going to be starting up a business, you think you would be able to buy a pack of real paper at Wal Mart for three dollars.' Honestly. So now we are back at square one.
Other than that: things are going pretty OK. I have a summer of deadlines ahead of me. First of all- I want to get pregnant this summer. I figure if it doesn't happen by the end of summer we won't try anymore because I don't want to be trying until Gage is thirteen. We have to call it quits at some point. And I also want to finish my book this summer. I'm almost at the halfway point now, so it will be a lot of work to finish it in three months, but I really want to hurry up and finish it. Perhaps someday I'll be able to quit my day job. It's all a pipe dream I know. But when I do quit my day job I shall buy my dog Baxter back and spend my days with him. I'm really going to miss that stupid dog. It's so dumb, because I keep telling myself, there are worse things in life. A fellow I work with just lost his mother. And here I am feeling sorry for myself because of a stupid dog. And it's not like he's dying- I'll still be able to see him sometimes. It's pathetic, I know.
Lastly, I would like to print a retraction. When I announced the contest winner I put Nikki R., but in fact, that should read Nikki S. So sorry for the confusion. Well, have a happy weekend. Hopefully it will be happier than mine. I may slit my wrists. So if I do... I guess we won't be seeing each other. But just remember the good times.