So thats what letter openers are for...

A freak accident today at work. I won't use the word 'tragedy' as poor Lorries nerves are shot after "Blizzard '07". But it was practically a tragedy. If it wasn't for my quick thinking and the help of my coworker, I don't even want to think about what might have happened. I was going about my morning routine, opening the mail and such. One envelope was stapled shut so I ran my finger along the seam to open it. I honestly don't know how it happened, its a medical mystery, but somehow the darned staple got lodged into my finger. Like really lodged. It hurt like hell. At first I thought I must have got a papercut or something. Imagine my horror when I looked at my finger and saw half of a staple poking out of it. But this is one benefit of working in a doctors office- I rummaged through the med cupboards and found some BetaCain- a topical anisthetic. I slathered a bunch of that on and then it went kind of numb. And then I took a pair of forcepts and asked my coworker to remove it. It hurt. It was bad. There was blood. So then I cleaned it up and put some more betacain on it, which helped. So that was the first part of the tragedy. Now I must face another grueling procedure. I need a tetanus shot. My coworker is going to give it to me, but I begged her to wait until the end of the day. Haven't I been through enough already?? Give my body a chance to recover from my first wound. But now I see the utility of a letter opener. I have always wondered, who the hell uses a letter opener. I mean, how god damned lazy can you be?? Is it really so hard to rip an envelope? But now I know- it's not hard, but it is dangerous. So now I'm thinking that those will make great gifts for people with birthdays coming up (Lorrie- that means you). I would like to get one for work but the budget is probably blown now with that fancy coffee pot and now the trolley.

I am sure that all of you are wondering about the state of my breasts. So I will tell you that they continue to be sore. And because I do not like to wait and also because I work in a doctors office with easy access to pregnancy tests I broke down and took one. It was negative, of course. But now I have a new idea. I think that a blood test is more sensitive than a urine test so I might ask the doc this afternoon if she will order one, and I will do it tomorrow. Another benefit of working in a doctors office: you can order tests on yourself pretty much. And get the results faxed to myself. And I will add the word STAT to the req. so it will be back fast. Otherwise I'd have to wait the weekend anyways, and that would defeat the whole purpose. I just suddenly had this vision of myself three months down the line, still trying to get pregnant but with track marks all over my arms like a junkie from multiple blood tests. If I get to that point, please just tell me that I'm losing it. Anyways, that is it for now as it is hard to type with this finger, which is all bandaged up and still kind of numb. Apparently, painful though it is, staple wounds do not qualify for workers comp. I honestly don't know what it takes if that doesn't qualify.
Enjoy your day and do take extra care opening your mail today if you have not already done so.