Monday, July 16, 2007

Don't call me, I'll call you.

Sometimes in life it's really handy to have a blog. Like today, for example. This has been happening for a while now, actually, like a week or so, but everyday I hear the phrase 'tapas style menu' on the radio at least two or three times a day. And I'm always left wondering 'what the sam hell is a tapas style menu?' So then I thought: I'll ask on my blog. Perhaps there are some of you out there who are familiar with a tapas style menu? For some reason I am picturing greek food or something, but I'm not sure if that's quite right. The only kind of food I know that starts with 'tap' is tapioca, but I'm pretty sure that their menu is not full of different types if tapioca. Honey Barbeque. Ranch. Orange Pekoe. If so, that would be rather dreadful. I'd bet the farm (talk about counting your chickens before they hatch-- a pun within a pun-- I'm so brilliant sometimes it scares me) that it would go under within a few months. I don't think that anyone even eats that stuff. Well, at least not people with teeth and hair.
The other news is that I've made a rather terrible discovery. I'm getting fat. And I'm not just saying that so that you can all post messages "Randine- you are SO not fat. You have a totally hot body and I'd shag you anytime" (however, I'm not totally discouraging such comments either, per se, though I expect not to get them from certain people IE- mom, dad, etc.), but really, truly, I think the 'middle age spread' is creeping up on me now. Thirty ishanging around, that big, obnoxious 3-0, lurking behind me, waiting to take hold of me and turn my body into mush and then dress me in Mom Jeans and Northern Reflections sweaters. I've noticed it a little here and there- certain pants not fitting quite the way they used to, etc, etc. Its been building up to this, now that I stop and think about it, it really has. And so then I thought, well I guess I'll do what fat chics do and just take a diet. But unfortunately, taking a diet is kind of tricky. This morning I was really hungry so I stopped at BK on the way to work to get a croissantwich meal. And then afer work we ended up having BK again, because it was just me and Gage for supper and what was I going to make for just the two of us? Cook a big roast and just slice off a little peice off the end for me and Gage and then throw the rest down the drain?? So, you see that I had no choice. And then I thought 'oh, well, I can just go for a walk or something later', but now I'm kind of tired and its really kind of hot outside so I'm thinking that the walk isn't going to happen, either. I guess I can go on what some of my clientele at work refer to as the "Jenny Crack" diet-- you can lose a lot of weight this way, believe me you, but you just have to be willing to be strung out on coke for a while and so on and so forth. Which could be OK. Don't knock it til you try it, right? That's what they say.

Lastly, just to let y'all kow that its that time again- Ovulationville. So just be forewarned that if you phone me in the evenings and such I may not be available to take your calls. So just keep that in mind. And if you do phone, limit your rings to under four. If I don't answer it before four rings then consider me shagging and hang up, because it can be something of a distraction and the mood really has to be just so. Well, actually, let me just put it this way: don't call me, I'll call you. Until further notice.


Lorrie said...

Tapas (IPA: [╦łtapas]) is the name for a wide variety of appetizers in Spanish cuisine. They may be cold, such as mixed olives and cheese, or warm, such as puntillitas, Andalusian battered, fried baby squid. In Spain (mainly in the southern half of the country), tapas are usually given for free to accompany a drink before lunch or dinner. In the United States and the United Kingdom, tapas have evolved into an entire cuisine; at Spanish restaurants, patrons may order many different small tapas, and combine them for a full meal.

Wikipedia BABY.

P.S. get an answering machine that picks up after 3 rings..then I can REALLY ruin the mood by yelling, "are you shagging baby?" circa Austin Powers.

vsorowski said...

Wow! A brilliant daughter and a Brilliant daaughter in law!!! I continue to Learn Sooo much!! Even stuff that is completely foreign and therefore DISGUSTING ie----Shaggin' Baby! But "keep up the good work" Love Ma and Lo--I am heading down to the Pub for a tapa--

Lorrie said...

Well enjoy your tapa whatever that may for me, maybe I'll enjoy some tapaS sometime soon. Hahhahaha, I'm an assholio.

jackie_care said...

Hey Randine, I know it sucks but it is really true the older you get the harder it is to stay in shape and even harder trying to work it off!!! WOW Lorrie where do you learn these things?? You googled all that didn't you!! Well good luck w/ the shaggin Randie, hopefully we can go to Bridges once more for a girl's night before you shag a little too much!!!

randine said...

Nikki, you forgot to give me my beating on Saturday. Shall we reschedule it??

n.straker said...

Yes, Hopefully I will give you the beat down this weekend!