Monday, December 28, 2009

The best day ever.

First of all, to answer the question that I've heard from a few people: No, this blog is not paid for in part or in whole by Slop Chop, Inc; nor do I receive any form of compensation at all whatsoever from said company or spokesperson Vince.

Which is a good thing, because I regret to inform you that my Slap Chop has gone the way of the Omelette Express. It was briefly utilized on the day that I made Chicken Cacciatore, where after it was relegated to some dark shelf, where abouts it did suffer a rather severe breakdown and, long story short, is no longer with us.
Actually, it's not such a long story. That pretty much is the story. I used it once and it broke.
So so much for that.
I could say that it was fun while it lasted, but really it wasn't. I chopped a few veggies and then that was it. Game over.

I haven't been writing very much lately.
That may be a bit of an understatement.
I haven't been writing at all lately.
And by 'lately' I mean the last, say, six months. It's not a case of writers block. I don't know what writers block even is, although I guess it sort of defines itself. But I mean, I could write. If I wanted to write. The problem is that I just don't want to. At the end of the day, when the kids are all asleep, and the house is quiet, my mind flits briefly to the idea of writing, but then quickly chooses sleep or some other sedentary activity. 'Hoarders' is on. Or some such movie was just released and I simply have to see it. TLC is having a "Cake Boss" Marathon, and it's not that I've ever really cared for Cake Boss but a)It's a marathon! and b)after a while it does sort of grow on you-- what they can do with those cakes!!
Or whatever or whatever
So really, I need to try harder. I will try harder. At least, I'll try to try harder.
I'll write today. Or tomorrow. Or at least sometime this week.
In the New Year.
OK today.
But frick if it's hard to write in this house. Hard? No. Impossible. Even right now as I'm writing this blog, I have Payton yelling "BOO!" in my ear followed by "Did that scare you?" Even though the last twenty BOOS!! have failed to illicit a response from me at all, she continues. Determined, it seems, to get my attention in one manner or another.
It's always the same thing when I write. I pull out my lap top and the children are like "Mom, are you going to write in your book today?" "Please don't" "Are you at least going to give us supper today?" I mean, honestly, for all their protesting I might as well be pulling out a crack pipe or something.
But the truth is, writing does have a certain addictive quality to it. Once I get into it, really into, everything else just fades to black. I can hear, as if in the distance, the children crying "Mom, I'm bleeding" and I'm like "That's nice, sweetie," real distracted like. And it seems that they do manage to injure themselves at an alarming frequency when I'm writing, as I say- determined to get my attention in some manner or another, however extreme, although I'm sure that the lack of direct supervision doesn't exactly help the matter.
So as I say, it's hard. Even now Payton just asked me "How much longer, mom?" her voice all pleading like. "Not long" I promise her, and she walks away, dejected like.
But I'm not making excuses.

Yesterday was the best day ever!! I stayed in my pyjamas ALL day and ate loads of snack food. I got a new book and read it cover to cover without barely getting up. We gave the whole family new, rhyming, names: Geoff: Jerry, Me: Carrie, Gage: Perry, Payton: Mary and Alex: Gary and referred to each other using our "Ary" names all day, which was the source of much amusement, especially when stringing them together as in: Perry and Mary go get your brother Gary and eat some dairy. And the thing is: I think Perry really suits Gage and Gary really suits Alex!! So that was fun. The only crimp in my leisurely day was when I found the dead mouse on the kitchen floor.
Don't ask.
I was completely traumatized. Especially in light of the fact that the manner in which I discovered said dead mouse was by stepping on it and feeling something give and then squish between my toes.
Completely disgusting. Never get a cat for a pet. Honestly.
Anyways, the point is that Shutter Island is a really good book!! And I discovered after reading it that it's also going to become a movie!! Starring Leonardo DiCaprio!!

And Christmas has come and gone. I find it so anticlimactic. All this time spent shopping and fretting and spending, and then in the blink of an eye, it's over and you're left with a garbage bin heaping with boxes and ribbon and wrap, hyperactive kids and a few pounds of weight you hadn't before. Although there's a part of me that's relieved as well. All the hustle and bustle gets overwhelming for an introvert like me. I don't normally like to use the word 'introvert' I prefer the term "quiet" or even "aloof", because the only time you would ever hear anyone use the word 'introvert' it was like, say, on City Confidential, as in: "A life long introvert, Dalmer had begun killing and dismembering small animals at a young age." I mean, I may be an introvert, OK, yes, but I have never, and I mean never, dismembered a small animal.
Well, OK, yesterday I did step on a dead mouse. But that was purely an accident.
Anyways, alls I'm saying is that I prefer to be at home, in my jammys, with a book in my hand and a cup of Joe in the other.
Oh, and the kids, too.
They're always there.
And hence, I must be going.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Famous Last Words

Famous last words: "How much trouble could he possibly get into in five minutes?"

This morning I had to run to Superstore while Geoff was getting ready for work. "I'll just hop in the shower while you're gone," he said. I looked at Alex, wondering if that was such a good idea. "I'll only be in there for a couple of minutes? What's the worst that could happen? I mean, how much trouble could he possibly get into in just a few short minutes?" he asked, looking adoringly at Alex's sweet little face.
I return from Superstore twenty minutes later to find an exasperated Geoff, towel clad with soap suds still in his hair ushering a crying and soaking Alex out of the bathroom.
Apparently, while Geoff was in the shower, Alex picked up his clothes off the floor and threw them in the shower. Next came the toilet plunger. He threw a book in the toilet. He then yanked open the shower curtains, effectively ripping them half off and spraying water all over the bathroom.
That's how much trouble he can get into in a five short minutes.
A lot, apparently.
Never underestimate a sixteen month old baby.

Otherwise in my life, things are going fairly OK. By far the most exciting was that I finally did it! I got the Slap Chop!! It is AWESOME!! To be able to mince garlic like that. It has changed my life. I never had a garlic press before. I just sat there and painstakingly cut it into progressively smaller pieces. And now. A few whacks and it's done. Minced! I just love it. The low point was when I had to fire my cleaning lady. Well, perhaps 'fired' is a bit of a strong word. I simply told her we wouldn't be needing her anymore. And by 'told' I mean I wrote her a flowy letter saying that while her cleaning has been wonderful, we sadly won't be needing her anymore. On Tuesday last I came home at lunch time to find her already gone, which left me feeling puzzled and annoyed, because she has been charging me for four and a half hours a week. When I left for work at nine she wasn't there. And when I came home at noon she wasn't there. So I'm not very good at math, but to the best of my calculations, that's less than four and half hours. So I felt it was a little dishonest. At first I thought, Oh well, what's the diff? If at the end of the day I'm satisfied with the extent to which my house has been cleaned, why squabble over twenty or thirty dollars? (Which, incidentally, my husband did NOT share my point of view on that. Not at all.) But then when I thought about it, thirty dollars a week does add up. I'm not going to say that he was right, per se. But possibly, he wasn't wrong. Possibly. That's a hundred and twenty dollars a month that could be going towards other things- important things like my children's college funds!! And besides, it's the principle of the thing, although, realistically, I'm not so sure I would be rushing that money straight over to the bank to be invested in RESPs. Probably I would just buy more candles and stuff like that. But besides that, Geoff is getting laid off of work as of the 18th of this month, so I can only assume that, quite naturally, our house will be impeccably clean during his time at home.
I mean, how messy could it get in just two months??

And last but not least: a list of the contents of my purse.
Lately when I go to pay for something I find myself pulling out random objects that vary from a teething ring to a banana to an old parking ticket, and the thought has occured to me: honestly, I could write a book about the contents of my purse at any given moment.
So here is what I have on hand today: A tube of hand lotion (orange scented by Sally Hansen- really good stuff for this time of year), an envelope from work labelled 'personal and confidential', a pay stub from work, my 2010 licence to practice as an RN, a JUST READ bookmark from Paytons school, a grocery list from 2 weeks ago, a pocket day organizer, a prescription for Amoxicillin, a straw still in wrapper, lip gloss, a small Rubbermaid container full of Goldfish crackers (pizza flavor), 3 stray receipts (1 WalMart, 2 Superstore), a pair of gloves, loose change to the sum of six dollars and fifty one cents (Some of which is American currency, I might add, so slightly over that when you take into account the exchange), 2 fortunes ("someone is speaking well of you at this very moment." and "now is a good time to explore the nearest coastline!"), a single sock (navy blue, size 6-12 months), a pencil, a soother and a little tiny plush rabbit.
Is it ever wonder I can never find my debit card??
But all essential stuff. I mean, I would never think of leaving home without some Goldfish snacks. What if I got in an accident and had to survive in the wilderness for a few days?
OK I'd be totally screwed.
But it's interesting how there's so much varied and diverse stuff in there. And each item tells a little story. Take the script for Amox, for example. Payton had an ear infection. OK, not a very interested story, I'll admit, but still that's the 'long story short' version of it. I could definately draw it out if I wanted to, although, to be honest, I'm still not sure it would be very interesting.
Have a good weekend.