Friday, July 24, 2009

Some people have the nerve.
On Monday I was running late for work, for multiple reasons, which I could go on and on about, but I won't. But anyways. I didn't have time to pack my lunch. At lunch time I was really hungry, so I went to Arbys and got a junior roast beef sandwich, curly fries and a diet coke. It wasn't the worst I could do, trans fat wise, although certainly far from the best. So I'm eating my lunch. And this girl walks in. Alright let me rephrase that. Waddles in. She looks at my lunch and says with a sneer "that looks healthy."
Can you even believe that she would even say that to me?? Andy yes I know that I used the word even twice in that same sentence but that's just how incensed I am. And maybe it wasn't even so much WHAT she said, but the WAY she said it. It was like all sarcastic, but not in a ha-ha funny sarcasm way but in a really judgmental-may-you-rot-in-hell kind of sarcasm.
I just replied with a shrug and a 'oh, well, what can you do?' kind of a sigh and continued eating.
She pulls out her lunch which consisted of a yogurt container full of cucumber slices with vinegar on them. I was like "listen lady, I'm pretty sure you didn't get to be three hundred something something from eating cucumbers, OK?? You're not kidding me here." Although of course I didn't say that. I just kind of looked at her cucumbers like "WTF??"
Anyways, so now she's my sworn enemy. Cucumber Breath. She's on holidays now, so I'l have a break from her.

Other than that, work is going OK. The coffee situation seems to have resolved itself after some time. What I have found is that if you're nice to the receptionists, they'll make you you're very own pot of weak coffee. So that has been going well. And I have brought some hazelnut creamer from home (option 'A' if you recall, Lorrie, thanks for your input, but honestly, I don't really want to be known as 'the girl who brews her own coffee'. In this neighborhood that could get me stabbed. Or worse. Although I'm not sure what's worse than stabbing.) and that has been going well. I don't think anyone has been using it. It seems to be lasting long enough.

On the home front, things are good. The kids are settling into their new routines nicely. Last night while watching Letterman I got this idea to make a Top Ten list for my blog. But mine probably won't be a top ten list per se, on account of me not being able to think of ten things. It might be six. It might be four. We'll just have to wait and see how it goes. I'm not Letterman, after all, and nor do I have his staff of writers. All right. This is a one man show, you realize.
So here goes.

Top 10 (approximately) Signs You Spend too Much Time with Kids:

10. You can complete the sentence: "Barney is a dinosaur..."
9. You have at least one box of cereal in your cupboard that lists marshmallows as an ingredient.
8. You catch yourself in casual conversation using words like "tinkle" and "ni-ni"
7. Your wost curse words are "darned" and "fudge"
6. You can count to ten in Spanish (only from watching Dora)
5. You've intimately familiar with all movies starring Tim Allen
4. Your known as the reigning champ of "Operation"
3. You've developed a taste for Pop Rocks
2. Opening the "Disney Vault" is a major life event for you.

All right, so we didn't quite get to ten. That's all I can think of for now. No number one. What a letdown. Sorry guys. So close but so far. I'll keep thinking. If any of yous out there has any ideas, jump right in.
And, for those of you not in the know, the completion of the sentence in #10 is ..."from our imagination."
I always seem to have that line stuck in my head.
Darned Barney.
Anyways, I must be going. Lunch time. And FYI-- it's a Lean Cuisine chicken dinner with a diet Pepsi. Too bad Cucumber breath wasn't here to see that. She could put that in her pipe and smoke it.
Darned Tootin.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Back at Work

Back at work now and things are fine.

Well, fine except for a few little things. If you want to call a potential brain tumor a little thing. But I'll get to that later.

First of all, and perhaps most importantly, since I have returned to work I have been quite concerned about the quality of the coffee here. My first day back and my sleep was a little rough the night before, so I poured myself a cup of coffee, thinking it would be just what I needed. I added a teaspoon of whitener into it, and oddly enough, nothing happened. It took it in, but then, like somehow dissolved away. Puzzled, I poured another heaping teaspoon. The result was similar. It could not be whitened. Dismayed, I started dumping a whole bunch in, and finally got it down to like a dark caramel color, it was the best I could do. I don't know what kind of coffee they use or how they get it like that. It was like a whole pot of that sludge that forms on the bottom of the pot if you leave it on all day. And it also seemed to have some kind of a laxative component to it, which would be OK for a bunch of elderly people with slow moving bowells, but for me,I don't really the extra stimulation. So now I have been avoiding the coffee. I discussed the situation at lenght with Geoff, and we are tossing around some ideas. We may either A)purchase an inexpensive travel mug and bring coffee from home or B)Buy some kind of Hazelnut cream or something to try to make the coffee taste better or C)Stop drinking coffee altogether. I am hesitant to move forward with option B, because in the past I've had some bad experiences with Hazelnut cream at work (read also "The Great Hazelnut Heist" for background info). I am also loathe to consider option C because I feel that I need some form of caffeine to get me through the day these days, especially since my twelve month old baby persists on sleeping like a newborn and waking up all night long.

So. It's a big decision and I will need to put a lot of thought into it. I will let you know how my discussions progress in this regard.

I have already had quite enough to deal with. And then yesterday I got a pamphlet from the Acoustic Brain Tumor Network. I have never heard of this said Acoustic Brain Tumor, so I started to leaf through the pamphlet. The symptoms are: headache (Yikes), Dizzyness (Yikes), Defness in one ear (Okay, so I don't have defness, at least not that I know of... although I do have to frequently ask people to repeat themselves. And people have said that I am tone def. I don't know if that's related to general defness or not. Def is a weird word isn't it. It seems to short to be a real word. It almost seems like slang for another word, as in "Yo, dog, that dope was def!" That's how I talk usually.) Anyways. Another symptom: ringing in the ears (Yikes). The last thing was facial tics. I don't actually have facial tics, I thought, feeling relieved. But then I started to wonder. Is it possible to have a facial tic and not know it?? I mean, how can I really see my own face?? I only look at it for a few minutes every morning when I apply my makeup regimen of bronzer and Blistex. It not only seems possible, but even probable. But the good news is that it's a benign tumor, so the prognosis is generally quite good. Temporarily, I feel reassured about this. But then, I start to wonder: can there ever really be such a thing as a 'good' brain tumor?? So naturally I am quite stressed.
Anyways, I must be going. I will let you know how these events unfold.
God willing.