Wednesday, April 16, 2008

26 Weeks

Things are going well. Time seems to be really flying now! I can't believe I'm already headed into the third trimester- the final frontier. I'm getting excited, but it seems to be a more subdued excitement. I guess that's what happens with baby #3. We have some preliminary names picked out, are not 100% sure but so far we were thinking of Hunter for a boy and either Olivia or Bailey for a girl. Everyone seems to have an opinion as to the gender. There is only opinion which I really agree with, which is that "time will tell". Myself, I try not to speculate about the gender. We already have a boy and a girl, so either way it's all good. They posted my position today at work, so that was kind of weird. It was kind of bittersweet, and at first I wasn't sure why it should be saddening. But then, first off, these days just about anything is saddening-- doesn't take much when you're six months preggo. And secondly, I guess I just feel like so much of my identity and sense of self worth comes from that professional identity. Stepping outside of that, even temporarily, is somewhat sad. I feel like I'm leaving a little piece of myself behind. As much as I complain about work, I do find the job rewarding and interesting and, even at times, fun. I get to stick people with needles, come on. Who wouldn't love that? But I guess, when the time comes I think I will be more than ready to go. But even yesterday was wierd. I stayed home with Payton because she was sick (note to readers: when a three year old tells you their tummy hurts- NOT a good idea to pick them up and let them bury their head in your chest. Take it from me- this will lead to getting vomit down your shirt.) Anyways, she was sick so I was home. Gage was at school. And it was like, OK. 0730- breakfast. 0745- tidy kitchen. 0800- now what?? I'm used to rush, rush in the morning. Rush, rush, rush, when I get home from work. But I suppose I will settle into a routine soon enough and I guess when the baby is actually out I will be a whole lot busier.
Other things are going basically OK. Geoff and I have some recent conversations which have left me disturbed. The other day I asked him if he would still stay married to me if I accidentally killed the dog. He said, yeah, prob., because if it was an accident then he would not really hold it against me. And then I said "well, what if it was accidentally on purpose?" and he said "well, I guess it would sort of depend on what that means, exactly." So I said, "OK. Lets say that I slipped a ligature around JDs neck when she was asleep and tightened it until her eyes bulged out and she went completely flaccid" And he says that no, he basically would leave me if I did that and not only that but try to take the kids as well. And I said, well, that's not really fair. I mean, a dog is not a trade off for the kids? After all, a dog is only a dog, and it's basically easy come, easy come so far as that goes. But then he said something about killing animals being a sign of serious mental problems, and I was like, well, that's good to know because I saw you kill a squirrel once, which he claims was an accident- because it was on the highway when we were driving to the lake and it would have been dangerous to go into the othe lane to avoid it. But still. Some say there is no such thing as accidents. Or that's coincidences that they say that about. But for the most part coincidences are accidents and the two terms are interchangeable, so...
And then one day I asked the cat, Brady, if it was hard to be a cat, and she nodded. I told Geoff all about it, all excited that I had broken the cat down and established communication. But then he just dismissed it, like I was crazy or something. And then he accused me of lying! saying that cats don't nod and that I'm just 'seeing what I want to see'. Of all the nerve. I mean, isn't trust the foundation for a marriage? I read that somewhere, and I beleive it was a pretty good source- Cosmo maybe. So I guess our marriage may be all a big sham. I don't know.
Onto other matters. I have been most disturbed lately by the advertisment for "Baby Mama" starring one Ms Tina Fey, which is about a surrogate mother. Now, you may now that I have written a book on the subject, a book which I once believed to be a very novel and original idea. And now it's all over. They stole my idea and I blame THIS website for the thievery. I posted my ideas for my book, and even some of the book itself, on this site and it was one of my supposed fans who sold me down the river to Tina Fey and gave her the idea. So I am going to try to find out which one of you betrayed me, and once I do: make no mistake: I will slit your throat. Maybe not very deep, OK. In all likelihood, it will probably a fairly superficial cut. I don't want any jail time or anything. The idea of sodomy does not appeal to me. But still... whoever you are, and you KNOW who you are: be afraid.
Now you may think that I would learn from my mistake. But that is not really the case with me, I believe in just barreling ahead. So what I am going to do now is just go ahead and post the first chapter of my new book, which I have recently started writing, since my last book is basically a no go at this point, thanks in no small part to Tina Fey, AKA idea stealing WHORE. Anyways, thanks for reading. Good day. And for you out there, the turn coat yellow belly double crossing snake: a word of advice: Sleep with one eye open. Okay, that was five words. Anyways, that is all for now.

1 comment:

Lorrie said...

Okay I laughed out loud at the thought of JD's bulgy eyeballs...does that make me a psyhco as well?????
You damn well know I didn't betray on the book front as I was (am) waiting on pins and needles to ride your rich coattails into the next millenium.
Glad your back in effect.