Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Fool proof.

They say that necessity is the mother of invention. There is a reason, I believe, that they use the word 'mother' in that expression and not 'father'. My husband has virtually no problem solving skills whatsoever, especially when it comes to household matters. I mean, I've heard him say the sentence "I was going to make tacos for supper but we dont' have any green peppers" Like, hello!! Have you ever heard of tacos without green peppers??? For me, I just make do with what I have. Geoff, on the other hand, has yet to undertand this. Yesterday I had to take Payton to the doctor (molluskum contagiousum, I'm afraid-- don't let your kids play with Payton at the playground-- just kidding, it's not contagious--just kidding, actually it is but it's not very serious.) at 4:30, Gage had ball practice at 5:30 and I knew I wasn't going to be home for supper. So, planning ahead, I made up some meat sauce in the morning and threw it in the crockpot. All Geoff would have to do was throw some spaghetti is some water when he got home and dinner would be ready. Fool proof, right??

But no. You haven't met my husband. A real freaking piece of work, only he could screw up something so simple. I come home at twenty after five to find a pot of cold water on the stove. "You haven't fed Gage yet?" I asked, annoyed. He replied, annoyed as well, that there wasn't even any spaghetti. I opened the cupboard, pulled out a box of fettuccine, a box of macaroni, a box of tri colored shells. I was like "you couldn't use these??" I put the water to boil and decided to make the fettucine, but obviously it wasn't ready in time and poor Gage had to go to ball with no dinner. Sometimes I wonder if he really is that stupid, or if he's just lazy and making excuses. I mean, it doesn't have to be spaghetti, does it?? Is it just me, or is that just plain common sense??? It reminds me of a similar episode "There's more than one way to cook a chop" back in 2007. They never learn. Never.

Anyways. Yesterday I was relaxing on the couch, happened to glance out the window and what did I see?? The creepiest thing. Cats. There were four cats (that didn't belong to us) sitting on our front lawn, looking expantantly at the house. It was freaky. It reminded me of that Steven King movie, Cats or whatever it was. It seems our Zoey is quite popular on the block. We have been trying to keep her inside, but I fear it may be too late. For some reason, Geoff seems quite smitten with our cats apparent sexual prowess, perhaps living vicariously through her sex life. Pitiful, really, but unless he learns to substitute one pasta for another, I'm afraid that shall remain the case. Anyways, the cat is getting spayed on the 9th so hopefully we will make the deadline. One more week to go. Can't come fast enough.

What can come fast enough- my return to work, scheduled to happen one month from this very day. I can't believe it. A year ago, when I started my mat leave, the world was my oyster. OK, it wasn't my oyster. I don't even like oysters, not really. I don't know why people say that. But my point is that it had seemed like a whole lifetime stretched beyond me: one year; twelve months; three hundred and sixty five days. But now, most of that time has come and gone. I am beginning to prepare to go back to work. I think that I might have found a suitable daycare, I am going on Thursday to meet the woman so I guess I will know for sure then. It sounds pretty good as she had a daughter that would be in Paytons class, so that could work well. We will see how that pans out. I think once I get that lined up I will feel better about going back to work.

And now, last but not least, the burning question: Jon and Kate. Will they split?? Take my poll. I think, from what I've learned from my very reliable sources (AKA radaronline) that it's pretty much a done deal, they're Splitsville already. So sad. And what is this I've heard that Octomom is getting a show?? Frick. Give me a break. I would never, not ever, watch her show. Like really, anybody could have sixteen kids if they were dumb enough to do it, but most of us aren't, so why are they rewarding people for their own stupidity with the pseudo-fame of reality TV?? I just dont' get. Jon and Kate I liked because they were kind of an everyday couple who kind of just 'fell into' such a large family and were dealing with it day by day. But as for these other shows-- the Duggars?? Don't get me started. I think that mom had a labotomy at some point, if she hasn't she freaking needs one to deal with all her those kids Jebediah and Jedidiah and Jeremiah. So annoying.
Anyways, I must go now. Soccer. Have a good night.


Lorrie said...

I too was plagued with this horrible disease, molluskum contagiousum...it is an ostrasizing, cruel sickness, haha, kidding. But don't even try to say it's not contagious because it's in the frickin' name and me and Kristing both got it. I'm on to you lady...no birthday party for you or your contagiousum kids, hahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How many times have I said it...men=stupid. But I still like to hear how stupid other hubbies are!!!!!

randine said...

You and Payton should start a support group for Molloskum- maybe do some fundraising. Gage could be in it, too, he's a survivor, although I think it still affects him to some degree. It always does.