Saturday, December 5, 2009

Famous Last Words

Famous last words: "How much trouble could he possibly get into in five minutes?"

This morning I had to run to Superstore while Geoff was getting ready for work. "I'll just hop in the shower while you're gone," he said. I looked at Alex, wondering if that was such a good idea. "I'll only be in there for a couple of minutes? What's the worst that could happen? I mean, how much trouble could he possibly get into in just a few short minutes?" he asked, looking adoringly at Alex's sweet little face.
I return from Superstore twenty minutes later to find an exasperated Geoff, towel clad with soap suds still in his hair ushering a crying and soaking Alex out of the bathroom.
Apparently, while Geoff was in the shower, Alex picked up his clothes off the floor and threw them in the shower. Next came the toilet plunger. He threw a book in the toilet. He then yanked open the shower curtains, effectively ripping them half off and spraying water all over the bathroom.
That's how much trouble he can get into in a five short minutes.
A lot, apparently.
Never underestimate a sixteen month old baby.

Otherwise in my life, things are going fairly OK. By far the most exciting was that I finally did it! I got the Slap Chop!! It is AWESOME!! To be able to mince garlic like that. It has changed my life. I never had a garlic press before. I just sat there and painstakingly cut it into progressively smaller pieces. And now. A few whacks and it's done. Minced! I just love it. The low point was when I had to fire my cleaning lady. Well, perhaps 'fired' is a bit of a strong word. I simply told her we wouldn't be needing her anymore. And by 'told' I mean I wrote her a flowy letter saying that while her cleaning has been wonderful, we sadly won't be needing her anymore. On Tuesday last I came home at lunch time to find her already gone, which left me feeling puzzled and annoyed, because she has been charging me for four and a half hours a week. When I left for work at nine she wasn't there. And when I came home at noon she wasn't there. So I'm not very good at math, but to the best of my calculations, that's less than four and half hours. So I felt it was a little dishonest. At first I thought, Oh well, what's the diff? If at the end of the day I'm satisfied with the extent to which my house has been cleaned, why squabble over twenty or thirty dollars? (Which, incidentally, my husband did NOT share my point of view on that. Not at all.) But then when I thought about it, thirty dollars a week does add up. I'm not going to say that he was right, per se. But possibly, he wasn't wrong. Possibly. That's a hundred and twenty dollars a month that could be going towards other things- important things like my children's college funds!! And besides, it's the principle of the thing, although, realistically, I'm not so sure I would be rushing that money straight over to the bank to be invested in RESPs. Probably I would just buy more candles and stuff like that. But besides that, Geoff is getting laid off of work as of the 18th of this month, so I can only assume that, quite naturally, our house will be impeccably clean during his time at home.
I mean, how messy could it get in just two months??

And last but not least: a list of the contents of my purse.
Lately when I go to pay for something I find myself pulling out random objects that vary from a teething ring to a banana to an old parking ticket, and the thought has occured to me: honestly, I could write a book about the contents of my purse at any given moment.
So here is what I have on hand today: A tube of hand lotion (orange scented by Sally Hansen- really good stuff for this time of year), an envelope from work labelled 'personal and confidential', a pay stub from work, my 2010 licence to practice as an RN, a JUST READ bookmark from Paytons school, a grocery list from 2 weeks ago, a pocket day organizer, a prescription for Amoxicillin, a straw still in wrapper, lip gloss, a small Rubbermaid container full of Goldfish crackers (pizza flavor), 3 stray receipts (1 WalMart, 2 Superstore), a pair of gloves, loose change to the sum of six dollars and fifty one cents (Some of which is American currency, I might add, so slightly over that when you take into account the exchange), 2 fortunes ("someone is speaking well of you at this very moment." and "now is a good time to explore the nearest coastline!"), a single sock (navy blue, size 6-12 months), a pencil, a soother and a little tiny plush rabbit.
Is it ever wonder I can never find my debit card??
But all essential stuff. I mean, I would never think of leaving home without some Goldfish snacks. What if I got in an accident and had to survive in the wilderness for a few days?
OK I'd be totally screwed.
But it's interesting how there's so much varied and diverse stuff in there. And each item tells a little story. Take the script for Amox, for example. Payton had an ear infection. OK, not a very interested story, I'll admit, but still that's the 'long story short' version of it. I could definately draw it out if I wanted to, although, to be honest, I'm still not sure it would be very interesting.
Have a good weekend.


Lorrie said...

Remember...JackieD said she'd clean your house and she's quick like a rabbit. Since she knows you and all she'd probably even do it for free out of the goodness of her heart!!!!
And I gotta ask - how much soap suds could there POSSIBLY have been in Geoff's hair, hahahahahhahahahahahahha!?!?!??! I'm so glad he doesn't read this!

jackie_care said...

Umm I'm reading back now in your blog and just came upon this. Lorrie WTF are you talking about!! When did I say I'd clean Randine's house??? And for FREE!!! Where was I when this convo happened!