Wednesday, March 16, 2011

I'm not buying it.

A list of things I'm not buying:

1)Chase banking with overdraft protection. On the commercial: Someone's rock climbing and her cell phone rings. She answers it with a smile. Apparently, it's her bank telling her that her bank account is about to go into the overdraft, so she quickly transfers some money around to avoid this financial pitfall.
Here's why I'm not buying it: Because the LAST thing I would possibly want in the WORLD is someone calling me to tell me that my account is going into the overdraft.
Do you have any idea how many phone calls I would be getting?
At work: "Randine, your account's getting close to the overdraft."
On the way home: "Randine, your account has gone into the overdraft."
While I'm sleeping and the mortgage payment comes out at midnight: "Randine, your account has just gone deeper into the overdraft."
I mean, what can I do about it? Maybe some people have other, off shore accounts that they can transfer money into. But I don't. And my idea of having overdraft protection? Is having an overdraft period.

2) Activia yogurt. On the commercial: they make the yogurt sound like a dessert. "Key Lime Pie" "Apple Crumble." "Chocolate Souffle"
Here's why I'm not buying it: Because at the end of the day, it's still frickin yogurt. You can call it 'chocolate souffle' all you want, but it's still just a pile of lumpy, clump, vaguely chocolately tasting yogurt.  And I don't care about keeping my digestive system regular, either. Jamie Lee Curtis can stuff her BF Regularis up her arse. Pardon the pun. If I want a laxative, I'll drink the coffee they make at work.

3) Aflac. Okay, I actually want to buy Aflac. On the commercial: A duck is sitting in the park with his apparent owner, breaks out into a little song and dance, and gives his owner a stack of bills.
Here's why I'm not buying it: Because my husband won't let me. "Ooh, I want to get Aflac."  I told my husband after seeing the commercial. "We can't," he said. "We don't have Aflac in Canada."
"But I want it! You get a duck! A dancing duck!"
"You don't actually get the duck. You get insurance."
"No," I said. "The duck is the insurance. He follows you around, and he gives you money when you need it. The commercial was quite clear on that." But my husband- well, you know how he is. He's always negating my ideas, like I'm crazy.
Anyways, I became his friend on Facebook- the duck, that is, but it's not quite the same thing.

What I did buy: A Kindle! I haven't fully transitioned to it yet, because I still have some paperback books that I'll read first. But so far, I kind of like the Kindle, although I think it will take some getting used to. I usually like to read in the bath, so I guess I probably won't be able to do that. So that'll be different. But other than that, I like it. Buying books is kind of overwhelming. I type in fiction, and Kindle books and get like 23,000 books. I'm not used to having so many options.
But that's not a bad thing.
Anyways, have a good day!


tammy said...

Hilarious. Loved this post. I actually like yogurt, but chocolate and yogurt do not mix. Ever. And Aflac? Yes please!

I have a Kindle and I love it. And there are waterproof cases you can get for it. They're more like a heavy duty ziploc, but so far they've saved my Kindle in the bath and in the pool.

Thanks for your comment on my blog so I could find your blog.

Lorrie said...

Randine you are one funny chick!
One thing I don't buy...extended warranties. Not only because there was a W5 on them but because if my $89 microwave is going to break I'm not going to send away the $40 shipping and handling to have it fixed. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Pearl said...

Ack! ACtivia! You've touched a nerve here, Randine, because that lousy commercial sends me into shouting, tic-ing spasms!



WhisperingWriter said...

I'm okay with yogurt, but I also get annoyed how they make it seem like this great dessert. It's really not.

Stephanie Faris said...

LOL, I haven't seen that commercial yet. I say just transfer the money for me when I overdraft and leave me alone.

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