Wednesday, November 24, 2010

How Not to Deal With A Cold

I have very little tolerance for people who complain about colds.
Which is weird, because that you would think that, being a nurse, I would be more compassionate about things like that. But I'm really not. In fact, it's just about all I can do to keep myself from rolling my eyes and telling them to shut it.

But I think it's precisely because I am a nurse that I find it hard to be compassionate. I've seen some crappy things, which I was going to elaborate on- but I won't. Suffice it to say there are worse things out there than a cold.

And so it is that when someone complains about cold symptoms, I find it hard to feel anything other than annoyed. Maybe because they sense this annoyance on my part, or maybe they just mistakenly think I care, they feel compelled to emphatically insist that their cold is THE WORST EVER and carry on in that vein, with lengthy descriptions of the type and amount of mucous that they are bringing up.
"Get some rest, drink lots of fluid," is my party line when it comes to other people's cold stories.
In other words: Suck it up, buttercup.

As such, I have always tolerated my colds well. I take Advil Cold and Sinus, and basically carry on as usual, with nary a complaint. "You sound stuffed up," they say sympathetically at work. I wave them off. "It's just a cold," I tell them pointedly. As if to say: You see? No big deal.

But for some reason, this weekend past, I became one of them-- the people who carry on like a cold is the Black Plague.
In other words, I may be turning into a man- namely, my husband.
I spent three days on the couch, in my pyjamas, with a box of Kleenex at my side.
Every time I coughed or sneezed I made a big production of it.
I went out and spent forty dollars on OTC cold products: DayQuil, NyQuil, Neocitran, Advil Cold and Sinus, Cold Effects, you name it I had it. By my bedside I had Saline nose drops, a Neti pot, a tube of nasal lubricant, and a humidifier.
My husband just looked at me when I was applying nasal lubricant.
I never did use the Neti pot. Pouring water up my nose just feels wrong. I couldn't go through with it.

Anyways, I'm feeling much better now, though it was touch and go for a while.
But it wasn't all bad.
Pretty fucking awesome. Better than Chardonnay. Just one tablespoon and you're OUT for the night. And if you mix the NyQuil with the Chardonnay, even better. To top it off, I break open three Advil Liquid Gels, pour the insides into the drink, stir it with a stir stick, top it with an umbrella: and voila: you have a pretty blue, minty drink, a pleasant buzz, a solid sleep, and no hangover in the morning.
Is it a bad thing to drink NyQuil when you don't, technically speaking, have cold symptoms anymore?

Anyways, other than that, things are going OK.
Except for my son. I should post a follow up to my last blog called "Conversations I never thought I'd have with my 13 year old son's principal" AKA- conversations that include the words "in school suspension."
Yes, I am getting a taste of being a parent of a teenager and I do not like it.
Being a parent to a two year old seems easier in some ways- even though it does involve trying to get a waxy blue film off all of my dishes after a crayon related dishwasher incident.
My writing is floundering in the midst of all this. At the end of the day I'm too exhausted to even get a few words in. So now I'm going to try writing in the morning. Waking up at six firm and writing for a solid hour before I get the kids up.
We'll see how that goes.
Anyways, have a good day!

** Disclaimer, I do not actually recommend the consumption of this beverage, or at least- not in large quantities.


jayceelee said...

What about the vicks inhaler that looks like a tampon that we always used to use in school and we'd call it a tampon!!? Can't believe you didn't get one of those...
Hope your feeling better, if systems persists, and your sats are down I'll run you over some O2...

Lorrie said...

WAIT a galldarn were the direct supervisor of my son this Saturday past?! When you joked that 'Payton and Alex just LOVED having him and wouldn't leave him alone' was that your way of saying, 'Payton and Alex babysat him, he almost drowned in the tub.'???????????
Glad you're feeling better! I am a really bad sick person complainer...usually it's to people that are way worse off too. Like I'll tell Jenn, 'owwww, I have severe dry skin under my wedding ring', hahaha! What an ass I am!