Thursday, February 10, 2011

Product Review: Sally Hansen Kwik Off

Disclaimer: I did not get paid in whole or in part for reviewing this product.

I don't usually do product reviews, but I really had to write about this, for three reasons:
1) It works really well!
2) It smells like mangoes!
and 3) If feels like a vagina

So if you have, like I do, a six year old daughter who likes to paint your nails really garish colors and do a piss poor job of it while she's at it, painting not just the nail but almost the entire finger, you should definitely check out this product. With one dip of the finger and a quick twist, your nail polish will magically disappear. Now, I never considered using a nail polish impregnated cotton ball laborious. But since using this: I have come to realize that it is, in fact, very labour intensive.

Also, it smells like mangoes, and in my mind- anything that smells like mangoes is worth buying. If they made mango scented QTips I would probably buy those, even though it would be kind of pointless in some ways.

Lastly, and perhaps- most importantly- it feels like a vagina!  Inside the jar is basically a sponge that's soaked in nail polish remover. When you stick your finger in it, it feels warm, squishy and wet. It feels kind of weird, but not entirely unpleasant.
"Stick your finger in here," I told my husband.
He looked at me. "Can I ask what it is?"
"No," I said. "You can't, just stick your finger in it."
So he closed his eyes, winced as though expecting pain (really?? I thought. My own husband, scared of what I would do), and stuck his finger in.
Promptly he withdrew it.  "What the fuck was that?" he looked kind of panicked about it.
"Nail polish remover," I told him, showing him the bottle. "And now your finger will smell like a mango! Smell it!" I told him.
He just sighed at me.
He always sighs in mock exasperation, although lately I'm beginning to wonder about the 'mock' part.

Anyways, if you like mango smelling vagina feeling products, then this is something you must try.
Even if you don't, just try it anyways.

Also, if you have any other products that you want me to review, just let me know. Because I like buying new things. However, preferably,  they should smell nice. I do not want to try anything that smells bad, or contains ketchup (or any other form of condiment, because I just can't deal with that), or could be potentially dangerous or toxic and they should be inexpensive.
Because my husband does not understand the concept of  "you have to spend money to make money." He just doesn't. Although, OK, he's probably right. I'll probably never make any money out of it, at least not in the literal sense.


Terri said...

LOVE love LOVE that stuff. I have been using it for years, yet never the mangoe scent. Never new it existed!!! Walmart here I come

Joann Mannix said...

Man. I must be a lot lazier than I thought. I have ALWAYS found removing my nail polish is very labor intensive. I am sending the teen out for this tomorrow. I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to feeling up a faux vagina, but I sure am looking forward to less labor.

Why don't you try out some of those pajama jeans they've been advertising on TV. It would be my dream to stay in my pajamas all day, every day. With those things, I could do just that.

Stephanie Faris said...

LOL...well, you sold me on the quick part, but I'm not so sure about the fact that it feels like a vagina...

Lorrie said...

All I want to know is, can I stick my fat Fred Flinstone toe in it?