1. I love it when I'm brushing my hair and my kids all start to panic and say "Where are you going mom?" I say "I'm not going anywhere." And then they're like "But why are you brushing your hair?" Just makes me feel so good about myself.
2. I hate it when people pronounce the word frustrated as "fustrated". One time I was talking someone with this affliction and I was like "I'm getting frustrated with you not prounouncing the "R" in the word Frustrated. It's not like "February". The "R" isn't silent. I didn't say that, though. Inside voice.
3. Men suck. My husband(AKA the Devil) has a cold and I swear to you that he complained more in one day from a frigging sniffly nose than I did during my whole pregnancy, delivery and postpartum course with Lex. And then he's like looking for sympathy and I was like SHUT IT- again with the inside voice, though. And so then I said to him, I said, on another topic, "I was thinking that we could put Payton in daycare for one day a week." And he was like "What? Are you going to go back to work one day a week?" And I was like "well no, I'm going to stay home" and he's like "What, you mean like, to get caught up on the housework?" I was like "No, like to watch TV and paint my toenails." Obviously the idea didn't fly. My toenails shall remain chipped pink, so I guess I'll just have to learn to deal.
4. I think I may be bad looking. I know for sure I'm not like super gorgeous or anything, but I have always thought of myself as a good solid average. And I'm happy with average, believe me. I stive for average. But every single time I go out, the ugliest SOB in the joint will approach me. Lorrie can attest to this. Remember those toothless guys from the lake?? So these ugly dudes are always like coming on to me, and I don't mean ugly as in just slightly subpar. I mean like totally blitzed drunk, slurred words, no teeth, abnormally fat or skinny- I've seen both extremes- bad BO, the whole nine yards. And I think "Really?" "Really?" "You actually think that you are even remotely in the same league as me??" And then I have to wonder "which one of us is deluding yourself- is you or it me, becuase I'm pretty sure it ain't me, honey. If I didn't laugh about it I would honestly cry. It's pathetic.
5. I will never be hoity toity. I think that people who actually use the word "Hoity Toity" in a sentence are mostly destined NOT to be. But that is something I was thinking about today, for some odd reason- If I had money(and really, people, it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when-- as soon as I iron out the kinks in the chicken farm idea, I'll be laughing all the way to the bank) I don't think it would change me. Oh, sure, I might buy a bigger house and maybe take a little VayK, but other than that- it would still be plain old me- average, as I said, is what I strive for. I just don't think I could ever justify paying $300 for dinner or $100 to get my nails done. I don't know. I have this spiel that I sometimes say (mostly with my inside voice, again) that the REAL beautiful people in my life are the people who work hard every day- like the volunteers at the food bank or the doctors who work a double shift to keep watch over a sick baby or the people who work with me in the core of the city- where most people would dare not walk- to extend a helping hand to some of the poorest members of our society. It's not glamorous, but it's beautiful. I don't know, that's just me. That's just my opinion. But that's what I'll always strive for.