Thursday, August 20, 2009

Fortune Cookie Fortune

Today I went out for lunch with some co workers. The main excitement for me was getting my fortune cookie at the end. I opened mine, fearful. My last one didn't go so well. "Eat more vegetables" it said. This, right on the spur of my confrontation with Cucumber Breath. I was already feeling somewhat vegetable sensitive, so this didn't sit well with me, especially on top of my deep fried chicken balls I'd just consumed for lunch. But today I got good news, at least fortune cookie wise. Double good news. Two fortune cookies: the first one- "you will soon have financial resources available to you", which I took to mean: lucrative book deal on the horizon. The second one: "You will travel to exotic places in the next three years", which I took to mean: lucrative book deal.
So that definately lightened my mood, which I needed after I had a rather difficult encounter last night with chocolate. There's something wrong with me, and I mean SERIOUSLY wrong. I'm not one to normally use the word 'difficult' and 'chocolate' in the same sentence, except to say "I found it only mildly difficult to consume the whole pound of chocolate'. But last night I was feeling stressed so I thought I would eat a piece of Lindt choclate, my very, very favorite. But when I put it in my mouth, I started wretching and gagging and had to spit it in the garbage and down a glass of water afterwards to get the taste out of my mouth. Water!! Usually I down chocolate with a glass of wine, or Pepsi at the very least. So this left me feeling very nervous. If I can't eat chocolate anymore, I'm not so sure my life is worth living.
First I lose interest in sex, then chocolate. Is this what happens to people??

Anyways. I don't know what that was. That's what I get for going on a healthy kick. Now my body is rejecting non healthy stuff!!

Onto more pressing matters. The coffee situation at work. Today I formed a coffee alliance with a coworker, the weak coffee coalition. Together, we make weak coffee and complain about the strong coffee, make little choking sensations when we are reduced to drinking the strong coffee. So that has been going well.

And lastly, Randines Vegas fund: a little meager at $25, but hey- it's a starting point. Geoff said"Oh, well, that should get you to the airport." So apparently I need to save more money. I have an idea-- I'm selling Paytons Dora Bed on Kijiji-- I mean, really-- she could sleep on the floor?? It's a deep enough pile carpet, it's basically like a bed. And I have found this Kijiji business quite lucrative. That's how I got my first 25 dollars in cold hard cash. All I had to do was sell something that I don't ever use anymore anyways. So now I am looking around the house looking for things to sell. I'm like "Geoff, how often do you use your golf clubs?" Anyways, according to my fortune cookie, the whole issue could be solved soon anyways. I was also thinking that we should start a charity to help me out... although we would have to give it a more charity sounding name like "Project Hope For Randine". Anyways, the end result would be the same. For the price of a mere cup of coffee every day, you could help a lowly nurse see the bright lights of Vegas.

I guess that is it for today. Have a good day.


Lorrie said...

I've already donated to the "Send a Kid to ACDC" charity donations are limited to those resulting in a cure for Arthritis, Cancer, and making little 30-year olds dreams come true!
On second thought, I WILL donate to your pack of diapers = a vaccine for a Third World baby so I'll let some poor, sick child in Africa get the flu and G get a butt rash from cloth diapers and I'll give the $34.99 to you my SIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It'll totally be worth it to see your little face light up!!!!!

randine said...

And bonus-- cloth diapers are better for the environment!! That's be,like, how much extra space in a landfill??

Nadine said...

Your body may reject chocolate, etc for a while however you will get used to forcing it down once in a while. (trust me!! how long have you been 'healthy' for?) I would also donate to your cause.....a girl needs some time alone and a little fun!! When are you going to Vegas again? For how long? Oh and Kijiji is awesome, I agree!!

Your lucrative book deal will happen, if there is anyone I know that can do it, I have faith that it will be you!