Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I'm not cut out for this.
Today, my baby (weighing in at 1.66 kg, by the way-- the things you can find out on Canada arrived in Missisauga, ON. I am like totally freaking out right now. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. I keep thinking "I should have changed that part or this or that, I should have edited this or that or took that chapter out or made it longer or shorter or less wordy, etc. And then on top of that I'm thinking 'am I SURE that the pages are collated properly? That the the chapters are sequential? That the page breaks are where they should be? That I double checked all the spelling?? It's like when I was in University, after I turned in my exams I would just ruminate about it all the time, thinking 'oh I messed this up or that'. But then I would get my exam back and get like a ninety one on it. So hopefully this will be similar. I'm always my own worst critic.
Anyways, I think I'll just keep my day job where I'm a lot less vulnerable. Nurses are very much in demand, so I feel quite confident. But writing its totally different. Everyone thinks they can write the Great American Novel, where as the reality is that only a very exclusive few can. And what makes me think that I can be a part of that group??
A hope? A dream?
A delusion.
But I'll just think positive thoughts, like they say in The Secret. I've never actually read the book, but I got the jist of it second hand vis-a-vis a Saturday Night Live sketch. I can. I will. I might. But then again I might not. Probably not. Argh. I'll have to start over.

Anyways. Nothing else really new with me. Cucumber Breath is back from her holidays. I anticipated a somewhat strained convo with her, but guess what?? Now we're friends!! Can you believe that she has a cat named Zoey as well!! What are the chances of that?? They have to be like a million to one. And not only that, but her Zoey had a litter of kittens as well!! So we talked cat talk, you know whether they ate thier placentas and that, and I think we really bonded. See, that's all you have to do is just find something that you have in common. That's what all those people in the Middle East should do. Do they still have conflict there? I think so.
So now that Cucumber Breath and I are friends again, I have a new sworn enemy, Courier Cow. But I can't write too much on here about her, as I fear being sued for libel. I have no idea at all whatsoever what libel is, but I don't like the sounds of it and I want to avoid it. Anyways. Just trust me, she's a cow. And not like weight wise (although ya, that too, well OK, not really, her body's actually not too bad) but more like just a miserable-sod-of-a-person way. Workplace politics are so complex. Makes me yearn for the days of Barney and Hungry Hipppo. And that, my friends, is a sad state of affairs indeed.
And one last thing before I sign off-- I must correct an error from yesterdays post. 'CPU' should actually be 'UPC' (Universal Price Code). I think, quite obviously, I could be dyslexic now on top of everything else. Or I wonder if thats just part and parcel of the acoustic brain tumor. The pamphlet from the Brain Tumor Network didn't list dyslexia as a symptom, but then again they only listed like four symptoms and there has to be more than that. And also, I noticed that sometimes when I sneeze I get kind of a tingly feeling at the base of my neck. So this has me quite concerned, naturally. I think I'd best just be going.


Lorrie said...

Question #1 - was the address an Apartment Number because you totally don't want an agent that works from home reading manuscripts between cleaning the toilet and signing million dollar deals and Question #2 - not really a question, more of a comment of support, she probably won't deny your book on account of a comma rule error so you need not worry. Now if I was this agent lady I WOULD so be thankful I won't be the one to "SHOW YOU THE MONEY!!!!". 'Cause I wouldn' you the money anyhow. And you DIDN'T have me at 'hello'. I sure hope to hell you watched Jerry Maguire.

randine said...

Never heard of it.