All things considered, my weekend was pretty good.
Except for the dead animals in my back yard.
We had some company over on the weekend, and THANK GOD they weren't of the high fuluting variety, they were low faluters (whatever faluting is), which was good, but even still I was kind of mortified when a few minutes after the kids had gone outside to play in our backyard they all came rushing in.
"Your back yard is full of dead animals!"
"What?" I asked, feeling a cold lump forming in the pit of my stomach.
"I just stepped on a dead mouse"!
"Oh God! Just stay inside," I said, herding them in and casting my cat a spiteful glare.
"It's okay," said the oldest, a ten year old boy. "The mouse is gone now."
"What did you do with it?" I asked, another knot forming.
"I picked it up and threw it over the fence into the neighbors yard."
I handed him a bottle of antimicrobial soap and shepherded him to the bathroom. "Wash your hands," I said as I liberally pumped soap into his hands.
The neighbors will hate me, and I can probably count myself out of a fruit cake at christmas, I thought, but I'll have to deal with that later.
I donned a pair of latex gloves, feeling fortified by the sharp snap as I pulled them on. With a garden trowel in hand, I set to work at the grim task or removing small animal carcasses.
I found three mice and three beheaded birds.
It was disgusting.
Never get a cat for a pet.
They look cute and cuddly, but if you've ever felt the squish of a dead mouse give way between your toes, it's really not worth it.
And then I take my darling children to the store to buy Slurpees, the day being uncharacteristically warm.
"Cash or debit?" the cashier asked.
"Cash," I replied, pulling a twenty out of my wallet.
"That's good because our debit isn't working right now."
"That's okay," Payton said. "My mom's debit card isn't working right now anyways."
I shot her a look of silent reprimand.
"It works," I told the cashier. "She just..."
"What?" she asked. "Remember, the bank called and told you not to use it."
"That wasn't..." I said, looking at the cashier plaintively. "That was just because my debit card got used at a store that's been involved in card copying. I got that all straightened out," I said, pleading, my voice slightly desperate.
I was tempted to go over to the ATM and print off a bank statement and shove it in his face to prove my point.
And then I realized that I was defending my financial situation to a sixteen year old boy with greasy hair and a lazy eye. What's the point, I thought with a sigh.
He looked at me, still skeptical.
Although it was hard to tell with lazy eye being so wandery.
And then today, I'm drinking my coffee, and Gage, my oldest calls to me. "I'm turning the coffee off. You're wasting energy when you leave it on all day. Just leave it off and then if you want another cup later you can microwave it."
I think they must be taking a unit at school about energy conservation.
Now I'm drinking cold coffee.
Meanwhile, he's got every light on in the basement, the TV on, the XBox on and the computer on with thirteen unclosed screens.
Anyways. I should be going now.
Have a happy Monday.