Friday, May 18, 2007

Misadventures in Movie Going

So as some of you may know, today was the premier of Shrek the Third. So naturally, seven o'clock found me waiting in an absurdly long line to pay an absurd amount of money to see a cartoon. And I could blame it on the kids, say that they nagged me and nagged me until I finally agreed to take them, but, truthfully, I have actually been waiting for this day myself. But the movie premier was one crappy experience after another.
I'm not saying that the movie was bad. Because, in fact, I didn't see the movie. I paid to see it, but that was about it. I made sure to get there a half hour early, because I knew it would be a zoo. So the first line up was the parking lot. You had to wait in line outside to take a ticket stub. So that took about fifteen minutes of standing outside in the cold with a two year old on my hip who was rather insistent that she wanted popcorn, which she knew was not forthcoming. Finally, we got our stupid ticket stub and proceeded inside. But then it was chaos. My kids took off and I was left standing in a ridiculous line up. It took about fifteen minutes to get to the front of the queue, and when I got to the front I was informed that the 7 & 7:15 were completely sold out. But there was some space in the 6:45, which had just started. So I said whatever, I'll just go to the 6:45. But then came the third line up. There was a huge lineup to get your ticket ripped. So I waited there for about five minutes. Finally we got into the theater. The only seats left were right smack dab front and center. And by front I mean front. We were in the very front row, our necks craned at an impossible angle to see the screen. So I said I would go get popcorn, because my two year old was still rather insisted that we needed it. I waited in line for about twenty minutes and had moved about a milimiter. The line in front of me was probably about fifteen feet. So I said screw it, I'll come back later. So I went back to the theater. Payton was insistent that she needed to go potty, so we went potty, which took a good fifteen minutes because she must wash her hands very thoroughly with the taps and the soap and the dryers, etc. So then we went back to the popcorn line. Waited about half an hour. Went back to the movie. Caught the last twenty minutes or so. The highlight was when Payton spilled ice cold pop all over my leg and crotch. As soon as the credits rolled we bolted from the place, my sweater tied around my waist like some 80's tennis club wannabe. And then, as if it couldn't get any better- a parking ticket on my windshield. Apparently, you have to have your stub prominently displayed on your windshield at all times. So I've spent $40 already. Owe $35 for the parking ticket. Saw about twenty minutes of movie. According to my calculations that's about three dollars and seventy five cents a minute. Next time there's a movie I want to see, I think I'll wait until it comes out on DVD.
That is about all I wanted to report. The only other thing is that last night I went to Superstore to get dog kibble, and there were two noteworthy occurences. The first is that they got new bags, which are really nice kind of purply with green and really sharp for spring. Too bad that they're going to pollute our landfills and take years to biodegrade and will, ultimately, likely ending up killing us all, but that didn't stop me from getting a few. The other thing was that the guy in front of me was wearing a shirt that said "SMELL MY BAG". I mean what is the world coming to when THAT is fashion??? I mean, I just couldn't believe it. Can you?? I had a good mind to report him to the store manager and have him removed for public indecency, but I guess these days anything goes. First it was pajama bottoms and now its this. Gone are the good old days of Chip and Hammer or whatever those shirts were called.
Well, that is it for now. Have a happy long weekend!!


randine said...

Oh I remembered, Chip & Pepper. That bothered me all through the night.

n.straker said...

Oh My. That is quite the evening. You should have come with us. I was also at that theater in the afternoon to see the ex, and we must have been in the same line up. I almost had a friggin fit! 20 minutes later we are next at the till and the lady in front orders 8 combos!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the frick!!!! Anyways, we walked in the theatre right when the movie was starting, and all be darned if there are only 2 other people there! It was awesome...for about 30 seconds. Here come grams and gramps and where do you think they sat? Right fricking behind us!!!!! Dumb asses!!!!
I feel really bad for you! I wanted to park in that lot because I figured they don't really come and see if you have a ticket , right? Wrong, good thing we didn't.

vsorowski said...

Your theatre experience leaves a little to be desired! I had a spectacular time at same theatre last Sat. SPIDERMAN3 Mine started too, with the parking, which I did a block away infront of a meter, and I received a ticket, but that wasn't as bad as running with 4 boys in a torrential downpour with hurricane force winds---Enjoyed the movie in soaked upper garments!Was only interupted 5 or 6 times with rushes to washroom with the 4 yr old who is very VOCAL about having to "Go POOP"! He also enjoys Dancing in front of the BIG Screen---We too had the pleasure of Front row seating....Oh 'Theatagh and THE AHTS" only beat by a lovely Greek Bowl of Boiled onions, topped with canned tomatoes, some beef fat and grizzle, Soaked in a Nutmeg/cinnamon sauce, "To die For"! HEY Gail!!!!(I shall never say "I will have what she is having" in a restaraunt Again!!!

Lorrie said...

Sorry to say, "you should have" but I will should have taken the wild animals to the drive-in. You could have seen two action packed films and the beggars could have fallen asleep if they wanted. We were going to see Shrek last night but the second flick was Blades of Glory which we already saw (awesome by the by).
Honestly...I'm an asshole. I won't take my kid to the move 'till he can watch Rated R and smoke cigarettes like a man. If he wants popcorn I'll tell him to grab his momma some while he's at it. Word.

jayceelee said...

We saw Shrek yesterday afternoon as well and I am in the same boat as you, I got a freaking parking ticket as well!!! $32.80!!! I didn't see the stupid signs, was my first time at the galaxy and thought it was free parking. And don't let the free refill signs lure you in too. Paul went to refill the kids Shrek combos, and they charged him $10 to refill. So in edition to the tickets $24 in popcorn and parking ticket, I could have bought myself a vintage Chip and Pepper.

Nadine said...

Good old Chip & Pepper, ahhh the memories of the horrible things that we once felt were 'the thing to wear'! Well I hope you all get to see the movie once it comes out on video!