Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Adsense Nonsense

Google Ad sense is way cool. Maybe not for you, I don't know. I hope those pesky ads aren't annoying you. But for me they're pretty awesome. So far I've earned myself a net profit of four cents.

But that's not what impresses me about Google Ad Sense.

What impresses me is that it's like a little tiny robot that gets inside my head and just like knows what I'm writing about.

I think it understands me better than my husband.
I could tell my husband a story about my day and his only response will be to ask if we have any more corn dogs, which is nine times out of ten completely irrelevant to anything I've said.
But Google Ad sense is attentive. It listens. And it responds with flashy adds and links.

Like the other day when I was writing about getting my tires changed, I looked at my blog and there it stood, next to my post: a picture of a nice, shiny new tire! I loved it.

And when I was writing about getting the kids off the juice (actual juice, not meth), and an ad magically appeared for Tropicana pure apple juice.

I was like WOW- Google Ad sense is all seeing and all knowing. I think baby Jesus just reinvented himself into a Google marketing tool. Why he would do that, I don't know. I would think that the turning water into wine gig was pretty good, but I don't know. That's just me.

But then it turned on me. One day I was writing about something that Alex said and the ad that popped up said: "Teach your Autistic child how to speak."

And I was like WHAT THE FUCK?!

Alex isn't autistic (not that there's anything wrong with that- I mean, look at Rain Man. He was a movie star.) And then I thought, what if it knows something I don't?? It's mother F'ing Baby Jesus in there.

So now I'm going to start tweaking my posts to make Alex less autistic sounding.

Except now I have to research intelligent sounding conversations, but nothing useful comes up when I enter that into Google, because I think it knows I'm trying to outsmart it.

So I'm screwed here.


Lorrie said...

That is super creepy. Are they paying some guy $8.00 an hour to sit and review blogs for key words? Write one solely about poop and see what happens. Please...do it for me!

randine said...

You know what would have been cool? If right after I posted this they would have posted an ad for Corn Dogs.
You blew it, Google, you blew it.