Sunday, July 18, 2010

Never Say Never

During my last post, I advised against nudging a literary agent.

But upon further review of last post and the subsequent comment, I thought I should follow it up with this: never say never. There are times when it may be appropriate.

During my post, I was referring mainly to unsolicited material (ie: queries.)

Requested materials, however, are another story.

But don't take it from me. Because if there is one thing that you can really say never about, its this: never follow any advice that flows from this website. Never. And this isn't one of those 'but- then-again-never-say-never' things. This is one of those. "No-dude-seriously-never' things.

Take it from a credible source or, better yet, an an actual agent, Janet Reid
And this one is basically irrelevant to the topic, but it's a lot of fun, and it helps me relieve my own query anxiety: Slush Pile Hell.

Anyways. Changing the subject a little, but don't you think that all women with hair less than one inch short (or long? it sounds right either way) are bitchy and evil?

Not to stereotype anyone or anything, because that isn't nice. But seriously, I think every woman I've ever met with a close cropped crew cut were straight up biotches- and yes I mean you, Dog Natzi from the birthday party. I mean, I'm not talking about short hair, short hair can be kind of nice. I'm talking about hair slightly reminiscent of Tom Bradys. It totally works on Tom, though. Actually, I just Googled it to get a better mental picture of it, and now I've kind of lost my focus.

But frankly, they scare me. The short haireds.

I realized this for the first time during a visit to an OBGYN. I was nervous about the appointment. This was a doctor I had never met, and she was going to be all up in my bizness. A young woman walked by with long, flowy hair. "I hope that's my doctor," I told Geoff.

"Oh, ya, cuz you can really judge a doctors competence by looking at the back of her head."

"Well, I really like her hair. She would be a nice doctor."

"Are you really that shallow?" Geoff asked. "I mean, don't you consider yourself to be a feminist- women are more than their hair color and their breasts and all that?"

"Well yeah, that goes with out saying, but what's the point of seeing a female doctor if she doesn't even look like a female? I might as well just see a man, then."
And even though I knew then as I know now that it wrong, I held firmly to the assumption that long haired doctors where somehow softer than their short haired counterparts.

And yes that lady was my doctor.

And yes, she was awesome. Very gentle and soft spoken and polite and caring.


I don't hardly think so.

And since I'm on the topic of stereotyping: I also feel a deep mistrust of anyone who wears Crocs/Dawgz/whatever you call them-those ugly rubber shoes with holes in them. Frankly, if you wear those shoes, I consider you to be sloppy and lazy and perhaps even slightly below average intelligence, although how I can discern all of this based on shoe choice I don't know.
Isn't it funny the power of that first impression??

And if you're a literary agent and reading this and have a crew cut or wear Dawgz or (God forbid) a combination of both, I recant. I think short hair is the new long hair and Dawgz are the new Manalos.


Lorrie said...

I wear Crocs to do the lawn and I'll have you know they are quite handy...and I done did an IQ test and they told me that if I went and paid the $34.99 to get my score that I'd be a genioos. And they were right...I was classified up there with Albert Einstein!!!!!
I'm saving this post in my big brain for when you come home with a 'mom do'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ('Cause I KNOW it'll happen...maybe not this year or the next but by golly when you're 65 you'll have a close crop!)

jayceelee said...

K...I hate crocs, dogs whatever they are just as much as you do...but I bought a crappy pair at dollarama last weekend to wear in the water while we put the boat in...(I hate the slimy/seaweed/minnows/stones at the bottom of lakes) and I hate to admit it, they were quite comfy and did the trick. I then found myself wearing them for the rest of the week at the lake...please don't tell anyone..

randine said...

Jaycee, I thought that Jenn and you and me made a pact one day over that we would never wear them?? I mean, for putting the boat in- OK. I'm with your so far.
But wearing them for the rest of the week??
My world view is shattering. Two people who I care about are now confessing to being closet Croc wearers.

randine said...

Please disregard the word 'over' in the second sentence. I'm too lazy to delete the comment and retype it.