Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Booty is a Swear

First of all, in reference to my last post, no I am not seriously suicidal.
So it was really not necessary for some people (AKA my mother) to ring me up in the middle of the night to make sure I hadn't "done anything stupid."
I haven't done anything stupid ever in my life.
Well, okay. Locking my kid in a car in parking lot wasn't that smart, but that was an accident. Anyways, no I am not suicidal. I was just being all moody and melodramatic about things.
And I'm not giving up, it's not like that.
Abandoning hope is a good thing for me right now. It's liberating. Like "whatever happens happens" I'm not sweating over my inbox anymore. I mean, I have other projects to work on so I'm moving on.
The title was a little dark, I guess, but I named it that to juxtapose with 'Having Grace'. And also I was going to include a sentence like "abandoned like a baby in a restroom on prom night" but then I thought better of it but now I've gone and used it anyways.
But anyways. Thank you everyone for your well wishes.

So this morning when I was drinking my scotch getting my kids ready for daycare I was singing this little song that I made up. It goes like this "and shake your little booty, shake it shake it shake it. Don't be afraid to break it, if you break it we'll fix it later." It kind of sucks and it doesn't have many words, but it's cute because the kids and I shake our booties when we sing it.
Trust me, it's fun, although maybe more in a you-have-to-be-there kind of a way.
And then Payton informs me that she's not allowed to sing nor say nor shake her booty at daycare.
Because, apparently, upon further questioning, "booty" is a swear.
Am I sending her to a Mormon daycare or something? Or is it just me??
I would like to know what, precisely, they would do if her name was Booty? Booty Rose Makepeace. Because I considered it. I considered it long and hard. It has a nice ring to it, no?
And yes, I do want her to be a stripper when she's older. At least one of us should be able to afford a vehicle that wasn't manufactured in the 90's.
Would she not be allowed to say her own name at daycare? Would they give her a new name, a new identity?
And what if we were pirates and booty was our livelihood? What then, Spadina Early Learning and Childcare Cooperative?
In fact, to that end I am going to draft a letter to the board of directors to said daycare that raises that issue. To be anti booty is to be anti pirate, and I won't stand for it.


sarah said...

got to say BOOTY is mild... my poor little three year old is allowed to say butt at my house but not at his dad's...he has to say booty or bottom at his dad's. So it never fails, within moments of walking in my door he makes up some reason to use the word BUTT, then he innocently looks up at me and says "it's ok for myself to say BUTT cause I'm at my mom's". I love my man and I think daycare is should contact a boardmember or something.

BTW our booty song says "shake it, don't break it, took your mama nine months to make it, so shake it, shake that booty, shake it, shake that thing"...

Lorrie said...

My song is, 'get your booty OFF that or I'll kick your booty to the moon you little bootyhole!'