Thursday, August 30, 2007
Another tatoo for me
I had my ultrasound this morning. On the way there the sun was shining. "Good Vibrations" (by Marky Mark) was playing on the radio. I recalled my last appointment where it was drizzly and cool and sad songs were playing. I thought maybe the contrast between the two appointment dates was a sign that this appointment was destined to go better. I allowed myself to get my hopes up. But I should not have. The gestational sac that was there before is still there, but it is flat like a pancake now. The walls have collapsed in because there is nothing inside to keep them open anymore. So it seems that once again I will have to try to pick up the pieces and move on. It's weird because I never held out much hope for this pregnancy from the beginning, but I guess there was always this part of me that thought I would be wrong. This part of me that always insisted 'it won't happen again!'. I took the results in stride, it seemed so surreal that this was happening again. I guess there are worse things in life- but it still seems unfair. Well, anyways, I'm going to go now and maybe take a nap. I didn't sleep well last night- worried about the appointment and so on. Thanks for reading.