I was pretty excited to find out that I've won a copy of this book: What I Thought I Knew, from this website: Chick Lit Is Not Dead
I went upstairs and told Geoff the good news.
You would think he would be excited about this.
But of course, this is Geoff here. The one who told me that my idea to get famous by building the worlds Most Giantest Taco was not only a really terrible idea, but the sentence structure was piss poor as well. The words "Most" and "Giantest" shouldn't be used together, which I already knew, obviously, thank you very much, but I think it just sounds awesomer that way. And then he tells me that 'awesomer' isn't actually a word, which according to 'urban dictionary' it is, but he says that's not an actual dictionary.
Anyways, last night when we were watching the news I saw a story about some people who had made the Guiness Book of World Records for making the worlds largest chain of human dominoes. "When they run the story about the people who create the Worlds Most Giantest Taco- when not if, because it will happen, it's just a matter of time- you're going to be sorry." I told him.
He didn't seem too threatened. He just rolled his eyes. "The Giantest Taco again, Randine. I really think we should just drop that."
That's just how he is.
This is what he said of the free book:
"Chrissakes, Randine. Did you sign yourself up for another one of those buy a book for a penny deals and then they jack up the prices to forty dollars a book and they're sending you one every other day and then our credit rating gets ruined and we've been blacklisted by every financial institution in town and all we have to show for it is a large collection of Jeffrey Deaver books?", which, incidentally I didn't see him complaining about the Jeffrey Deaver gravy train while we riding high on it.
"No, this isn't one of those scams!" I replied, indignant. "I don't know what kind of a person would even fall for that."
He just looked at me.
Because, of course, I fell for that. You already know that.
But, the thing of it was that I had to order the books to get entered into the final round of the sweepstake, which by this point, I may have had already won, so said they. They even sent me a check to the sum of 999,999.99 with the words "Not for tender or trade" on the bottom in big block letters, which, as it turns out, means you can't cash it. Which wasn't good. Nor did I win the sweepstakes, either, which was pretty weird because by the time I made it to the final round I had, apparently, a one in three chance of winning.
But this is legit. It's a free book-- and a really good book at that. Chick Lit. Put that in your pipe and smoke it Mr. Deaver.
My life just got pimped.
Now I just have to wait four to six weeks for delivery.