Tuesday, August 31, 2010

First Day of School

She looked so small, laden with a back pack that weighed at least as much as she did.
I brought her to her classroom, where she took a seat next to her friend, Taylor- the boy that she "broke up" with in the spring to "focus on her studies".
Were they back together? Or just mere friends? Whatever "dating" means in Grade 1 terms.
You see? There's so much I don't know about her already.
Some girls filed in and huddled around Payton, commenting on her clothes and hair and backpack.
I stood back.
She waved at me, giving me the signal to go.
Still, I stood there.
She looked so small.
Another mom stood by the door way, half in and half out, which was sort of how I was feeling.
"I feel kind of bad just leaving her here," I told her. She nodded her understanding.

Reluctantly, I left after another, more emphatic, good bye wave from Payton.
For some reason, I felt a sense of sadness come over me.
It was entirely unexpected. When I dropped her off at Kindergarten for the first time I was like "Hallelujah, she's someone Else's problem now. At least for three hours a day, most days."
Three hours a day is one thing.
A full day is another.
And it made me so sad that once, I dropped Gage off at Grade 1, in that very room. Payton was a newborn, swaddled and sleeping in her stroller. The other kids swarmed me every day, looking at the baby, little faces peering into the stroller, firing questions at me: how old was she (that one I could handle) , where did she come from (er, ask your own parents, kid) and what she ate (how to explain breast feeding to a six year old?)
And today, that baby started Grade one herself.
I wonder where the time went.

Oh well, at least I still have one (sort of) baby- as long as you don't call him a baby to his face. That might get you slapped.
But he calls waffles 'tacos', which is sort of endearing, once you get past the confusion of him demanding tacos at seven in the morning. And Kleenex is still contraband in our house, which is also sort of endearing, the way he plucks each and every one from the box with reckless abandon.
We use toilet tissue on our nose.
It works well enough.

Anyways, I did not post yesterday. I was sharpening pencils like a madman and smoothing nerves (mainly my own) and picking out clothes with Payton- which you know is an ordeal, and at the end of the day I had a headache.
And a heart ache.
Oh, well. At least we are saving on daycare fees??


nikki said...

Oh, that was really sweet. I know exactly what you mean!!! I went through it yesterday and I cried a bit in the hall. Thank goodness for my friend, Rose, as she gave me a hug. Hear that bitches!!!! I have a friend!! In PA. She does have a lot of tattoos, but she is super nice and her kid is really smart! Anyways, sorry for that outburst. When I took Liam to school, there was a mom dropping off her kid...Christian...whom Liam likes, but Christian doesn't seem to like Liam (how could that be?!?!), and she was in her pajamas! Is that not a little strange? Pink pj pants with monkeys all over them and a fleece jacket. Man, I thought I was lazy not putting on blush, but we're allowed to come out in pajamas? I had no idea! Also, she was blabbering on to the teacher about her being a single mom, so I didn't even get to meet the teacher and tell her how awesome Liam is, but I guess she can probably figure
that out for herself!
Wow...I had a lot to say. Maybe I should start my own blog, and quit hogging on yours! But I won't! Haha

randine said...

Hmm, you got a hug? All I got was a nod.
I am SO not down with the pyjamas at school- WTF? And if you ARE going to wear PJ's- if you MUST- say you have cancer or something- then can you at least find a pair that DON'T have monkeys on them??? Try to look a little dignified, at least?
Honestly- I think you should start your own blog. I'm not saying that because I don't like you commenting on mine- you can comment as much as you like for as long as you like! I love it! But you are so super funny!! You are wasting your talents in the mere comment forum of a little read blog...

nikki said...

Are you kidding...every time I comment on here I'm so afraid that you and Lorrie are keeping a running tally on all my grammerical (?) errors. There's another one for ya!! My dot, dot, dots probably make you seethe inside. I start sentences with but, and, are. I'm sure you guys get together with your glasses down on your noses and laugh and drink sherry sitting in front of a fire! You read books and such with titles like, War and Peace. I know that's how it goes down with you two!!!

nikki said...

Well, more Lorrie...not you!

randine said...

Yeah, that's more Lorrie- she's the (self appointed) Queen of Grammar. I start sentences with 'but' and 'and' all the time, sometimes both at the same time.
And but, it's my freaking blog, so I can say whatever the frick I want. So deal.

And I've never noticed any "grammatical" errors on your part.
Oh, and Lorrie- you should start a blog, too. OH, I forgot you already have one. I go there EVERY DAY and read the same entry from 2007. Your blog was great. And better grammar than my blog.
You should start it up again.

nikki said...

Haha...grammerical, grammatical...potato, potahto!!!

Lorrie said...

Grammar this biotches...I only note what is RIGHT in front of my FACE...or should I say 'le visage'...that's 'face' in french...or "Levis age" in drunk English.
If you haven't notice...Nikolai...Flodine and I were doing dot, dot, dot since we were like...28 and...24.
I give you a shout out 'cause it appears that you do two spaces after your periods...I...totally...like...that.
P.S...if I offended you with my grammatical corrections than take it up with that hovering, gambling, manizing whuuuuuure Jackie Hall at Superstore...she gave me a 98% in English 09.
P.S.S...Flo-if I revisit blogland you'll be the first to know!
P.S.S.S... that descript of Payton going to school brought a tear to my eye...don't want to take away from the original subject.
P.S.S.S.S...talk about hijacking a blog.