Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Things You Might Want To Run By Me First

Things you might want to run by me #5- right after #4 "I've signed us up for a RIF."

I have no idea what a RIF is, but immediately I do not like the sounds of it. If it's one of those things where the bank takes our money and locks it up until we're 70 years old then I want no part of it. Live in the now, I think. I mean, what good is money going to do us when we're old anyways? I've seen old people shopping in the grocery store and I'll tell you what they buy:
-a can of tuna
-a half loaf of bread (I didn't even know you could buy them like that.)
-a can of peaches
-a 250 ml container of heavy cream (for the peaches, I hope, not the tuna)
-a quart of prune juice.

Being old does not look expensive. Having three ever hungry kids is.

But anyways. Without further ado: #5: the acquisition of a new family pet.

I was quite surprised this morning to learn that there is a frog looming in our not too distant future.
Yes, a frigging frog.
Payton came running into the house after sitting outside with Geoff. "Guess what? Dad says that if I keep my room really clean I can get an aquarium and we can get a frog!"
Screw me over much, Geoff?
Because what can I say to her? She looks so excited. She's picked out a name for her frog: Rose. (Why Rose, you ask? Because Rose is her middle name, which was in honor of Geoff's deceased mother, her would-be grandma) I guess Payton had decided to bestow the name sake on her hypothetical pet. I'm sure Rose would be touched by the gesture.)

But honestly- another mouth to feed is something I need about as badly as I need a RIF.
And you know I'll be the one feeding the blimey thing.
Which I might not even mind, if it were of the cute and cuddly species of animal. But the slimey and warty species I care not for.
I appreciate what Geoff was trying to do. He's trying to keep her motivated to keep her room clean, because the way it is now- it looks like the room barfed all over itself. It's pretty bad, and God help the fire department if they ever have to get in there for a fire or whatever.
But surely there are other, non frog ways, of negotiating a cleaner room?
My father never bartered with frogs for me to keep my room clean, or for anything.
It was just clean it the F up or I'll kick your F'n ass.
Is there something so wrong with that??


Terri said...

I like your Dad's way of thinking! As for the frog, we have two, or rather fire bellied toads. Named Burger and Darth. I have to feed them crickets. Yuck.

nikki said...

haha...just don't get it from Petland on a payment plan!!

randine said...

You do that one time and no one forgets...