Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Creating an Online Presence

For some reason the term 'online presence' sounds vaguely menacing to me. Like it's some mystical, dark force that stalks the Internet at night... and... what? Destroy peoples crops on Facebook??
I think I have read too many Stephen King books.
But speaking of Facebook- I am getting so tired of my news feed constantly being about peoples farms, or fish tanks, or bistros or their high new score in Family Feud. I am also tired of uninspired status updates: "TGIF-LOL". I mean, yes, I am glad it's Friday, but why we're supposed to laugh out loud about it, I have no idea.
Even worse is the vague status update. Like "Today's the day. Fingers crossed."
No I'm not going to take the bait and ask. I didn't care about you when you sat behind me in tenth grade and I certainly don't care about you now.
I don't try very hard to be a nice Facebook friend.
But anyways. That's not the point.

The point is that literary agents recommend creating an online presence while trying to get published as an author. Which is good news because I already have one- in the form of this blog (such as it is). But the bad news is that they suggest that they keep your blog clean cut, strictly professional- as in-- no ranting about your husbands snoring or dogs vomiting, presumably.

They didn't expressly mention dog vomit, but I think from their tone it was implied.

But what, pray tell, is left for me to write about then?? I could write about the querying process, but honestly, I'd rather not go there. Not right now at least.

And so I pondered this.

I mean, I can see the point of keeping it clean and professional. I can. There are a lot of good things about that. And OK, maybe, in retrospect, not everyone needed to know that I had a (legitimate) concern about my husbands vasectomy when they told us that it would take twenty ejaculations before we were "all clear". My husband and I looked at each other, didn't say anything, but I think we were both doing the same frantic mental math and reaching the same conclusion-- that could take six months to a year!! And OK- maybe I shouldn't have rehashed that, being that it's now buried deep in this blogs archives, and maybe no one would have ever known about that unless they were totally looking for it. But that's my life. My real life and I don't think I should have to sugar coat it. Honestly, I don't really want to sugar coat. It's quite demanding- and yes, at the end of the day I go to bed TIRED, nothing more- but that's okay. That's the way it is sometimes when you have three kids, two of which sleep (part time) in your bed, pets, laundry, bills and a full time job to top it all off.
Well. That's how it is for me sometimes. I guess I shouldn't speak for everyone, but I am hoping that I am not alone in this. And I guess that's what compels me to write in the first place.
So, I probably won't change what I write about, but I will try to write more frequently.
The key word here- TRY.
We will see how it goes.

On a different note- Payton's wiggly tooth fell out today. Finally.
She was so excited, she came running at me full speed ahead with tooth in hand. It was a picturesque moment in time: her closing the distance between us, arms outstretched, smiling a wide, showy, toothless grin.
And then she tripped, sending the tooth careening across the lawn at the daycare. She was down and crying. I was down, searching for the tooth in the grass. Talk about looking for a needle in a haystack, I thought.
But alas, I found it- that's the power of mothers. If it were Geoff, he probably would have thrown up his hands in defeat, saying "Well, we'll probably never find it now. But the tooth fairy will pay you double if you can't find it", which would have worked just as well, I suppose.
Now it is safely tucked away under her pillow, where we will await the tooth fairy's arrival.
Which means me, so I should be going.
Good night.


Lorrie said...

They prob want you to keep it clean so if you get famous people can't sell your stories to the tabloids. I love you but if you go all Danielle Steel on me I'm totally selling you out man...just a warning.

randine said...

No worries I won't go DS... as long as you don't go vague status updates on me. Or worse. Farmville. Cuz no, I won't be your neighbor.

Lorrie said...

Try this on for size...I'm feeling it out before I post it to FB..."Lorrie thinks this rain is for the birds" or better yet, "F'ing rain I'll f'ing KILL you"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nikki said...

Nikki Rigby Straker...Loves Randine's blog! She is so funny!
How do you like that status update. I could also throw in a quip about the weather, but I don't go there. Did you know that you can hide all those game updates? Well you can, and I have. Now it is just straight up stupid updates...not witty racist ones about PA, like mine!
BTW...Jay would have said the same thing about the tooth. Do you know how many times I have searched for Olivia's earrings and found them. Afreakinglot!