Saturday, January 27, 2007

Hope really does spring eternal

Today I took my little darlings to a movie- seeing as my husband was unavailabe due to his work schedule. So since I was bringing them instead of Geoff I had to pick a different movie, didn't really think that 2 year old Payty would be much interested in The Good Shephard - which chronicles the origins of the CIA. So we saw Charlottes Web instead. It was actually very good, though sans Damon. It was moving because first off the movie itself was kind of touching. But more than that, it moved me because as I was watching the film I could clearly remember reading the book as a child of eight. And it struck me, here I am twenty one years later, watching the movie with my own children, one of whom roughly the same age as I was when I, myself, read the tattered pages of E.B Whites classic book. The passage of time, normally so subltly slow in the minutiae of day to day life, was suddenly clearly illucidated. It was a feeling that left me both happy and sad simultaneously. Happy about what I had accomplished in the intervening twenty years- more proud of my children than anything else. I love my kids for their unique traits- Gage, so pensive and anxiety ridden "mom are sure we have enough gas to make it there?", and Payton, so polite and social "but I don't know how, mom," when you tell her to go to sleep. But I also love them for the relationship they have with each other. Nothing warms my heart more than seeing the two of them interact, seeing Gage comfort her when she cries or making her giggle the way that only he can. I so anxiously look forward to what a third child will bring to the family dynamic. Anyways, but I was sad all at the same time, thinking that in another twenty years I will be fifty years old, likely a grandma and my own children will have left their childhoods behind. I'm getting a little verclemp. I'll give you a topic: euthanasia. Discuss amongst yourselves.

All right, I'm back. Okay. Anyways, the topic of the blog. Hope springs eternal. Now you know that I got my period the other day. But even still, there is still this crazy part of me that thinks I could still be pregnant. My period was a lot lighter than usually this month. It was maybe a bit heavier than spotting, but a lot lighter than actual flow. And it only lasted two days. It was a little unusual. And my breast still heart. And last night I was so tired that I actually went to bed at 8:30. Anyways, I'm sure you know a lot more about me know than you ever wanted to. I don't know. I was actually contemplating buying a pregnancy test today but then I was like 'no. Get a grip. Give up the dream." A month is not that long in the scheme of things. I'm 95% sure I'll get pregant this cycle. Thats how confident I am in my husbands sperm. They're fiesty buggers. I know this from experience. Anyways, if I do get pregnant this cycle my due date will be October 31st. Cool, hey. The built in advantage is that if I go overdue I can go trick-or-treating as a fat cow, and if I have the baby early I can go as a lactating cow. Imagine the surprise on childrens faces.

Big news on Vanier cresent. The new neighbors have moved in. I have not caught sight of them yet but what I do know is they drive a Ford truck and an SUV of some sort. There couch appears to be some sort of a chinz pattern so I'm thinking that suggests mid50ish. I had been hoping for some kids, or maybe even a teenage girl with a penchant for babysitting. But oh well. I'm pretty antisocial for the most part anyways, preferring to sit in the basement in semidarkness and blog rather than socialize with real people, so I suppose it doesn't much matter one way or another. Well, I will go now. Have a good weekend. Perhaps tomorrow I will bring news of the new bed.

3 comments:

vsorowski said...

know exactly what you are talking about! The pride you have in your little girl and big guy, I have experienced and still do! The relationship between sibs is uncomparable, and the older we get the more dear it becomes. As your family grows as does your brothers it is like a fabulous reward for being your mother! Lets not forget our family is so much larger than you and Trent, it also consists of Jen and Jay, their spouses and kids!
Britt and Brent too! We are truly blessed with "Family"!Aunt Gail concurs,Our family for the most part is one Big Happy One! Even thru the losses , heartaches and pain, we have each other to laugh, cry, and be proud of! Love this Family,I am so Proud!!XO , Love Ma

Crystal said...

Why is Gage afraid of running out of gas??

Crystal said...
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